Ok, so I’m going to say it now. I have no idea where this post is going to go. But I feel like I need to talk, so I’ve just sat down and began to type, and whatever comes out is what you are going to get! (I’ve also added some GIF’s to break up my ramblings!)
So I got an email yesterday to tell me that it’s only 6 months until Christmas. First thought…
…closely followed by…
How is it already half way through the year?! I haven’t done anything!
I was on Goodreads the other day and I am ashamed to say that I am 14 books behind on my reading goal! It isn’t even a hard reading goal! I used to read so much and now I feel like by the time I get home from work I am just so tired that the majority of the time I just sit on the couch and watch mind numbing TV until an acceptable time to go to bed!
I think about all the times that I am not reading that I could be reading: my lunch hour, my weekends and my nights. There are 14 unread books on my bookshelf right now. If I just shut off from life for like a week then I could probably get through them.
But do I want to shut off from life?
I spent the whole of last year unemployed (apart from one 4 hour shift a week in a bar) and because of this I spent a lot of time at home reading and very easily read 200 books in that year. But I had also become a bit of a recluse. I didn’t go out, like at all, and there was a time when things got a little dark for me. I struggled and so spent a lot of my time hiding at home, so there was a lot of time for reading. I stopped living my own life and instead I lived the lives of my characters.
Then in March (this year) I got a full time job and in the exact same week I met my (now) boyfriend. Now I have friends and a social life. I do things like Pub Quiz every Wednesday night and Park Run every Saturday morning. I have a life, and I like that life, and as much as I love reading I don’t want to give up my life just so I can reach my reading goals.
Even so, I get so jealous when I see how many books other people are reading because there are so any books I do really want to read! I see these people achieve their reading goals and I think: I want to do that!
There are just SO MANY BOOKS that I want to read and SO LITTLE TIME to read them!!!
But then I remember all the things that I have done when I haven’t been reading, and except a few occasions of flicking round YouTube for hours watching cat videos, or watching reruns of Friends over and over again even though I’ve seen them all before, I don’t regret any of it.
Compared to last year I am in a completely different place in my life with different responsibilities and a different social life and well I’m a different me. But for some reason I am trying to merge parts of my old life with my new life and I can’t do that. I can’t lie on the couch and read three books a day because I have things to do now, and I’m a lot happier now because of that.
I’m not saying that I’m going to stop reading, I mean I’m still going to be reading A LOT! But I think I’m finally accepting that I am not going to be reading as many books as other people are and that I’m never going to get to read all the books on my list, and that’s ok. My life has changed, and so have my reading habits, and whose to say in a years time they won’t change again and I will adapt again.
And so if that means that I’m a few short of my reading goal by the end of the year then so what. I wouldn’t trade living my life and the memories that come with it in order to reach that number.
And that’s just my choice.
So that got a bit deeper then originally planned, but sometimes we bloggers just need to unload. So if, you have gotten to this point in my post, then thanks for sticking with me.